Conferences between parents and caregivers can provide an outstanding opportunity to find out how your child is doing in a child care setting. It can also allow parents a one-on-one opportunity to get to know the individual whom you've entrusted with your child even better. Here are 10 tips to make the most of the meeting.
1. Ask Your Child
If your child is old enough to communicate with you about particular wants or desires, ask him what he wants you to ask the caregiver. His questions may be silly (requesting only chocolate cake, for example), but often they can be right on the mark. Your child may wants you to find why she can't bring her favorite toys to daycare. The caregiver's answer might provide you with insight into your child's behavior. Or, it could be that the provider will change the rules as a result. 2. Prepare In Advance
Prepare in advance for the conference. Even if your child is only an infant, this time is set up for you as a parent to gain a better understanding of your child's needs, desires and comfort with a child provider. Write down your questions so that you don't forget to ask about something that is important to you.3. Be On Time
Caregivers create conferences to encourage communications with parents, but their time is as important as yours. Don't expect to arrive 15 minutes late and still achieve everything you wanted to ask. They may have set another conference immediately following yours. Although a 30-minute appointment is the norm, some caregivers may have other issues to discuss or request that parents visit the classroom or activity and observe, which could take longer. 4. Be Positive
Even the strongest partnerships between providers and parents seem awkward in a formal conference setting. Defuse any nervousness by beginning the conversation in a positive light. Briefly mention a highlight or two of why you and your child feel this arrangement is successful. This serves as an icebreaker and begins the conversation in a positive tone.5. Stay On Topic
This conference is about your child, not you, and concerns the present and not the past. Sounds simple, but the truth is parents will often start the conference talking about their own childhood, another sibling, or other matters that have nothing to do about the topic at hand. Remember, this is your time to talk about your child in the child care setting. There are plenty of other opportunities to have casual conversations with your child's provider.6. Listen and Be Open Minded
Let the provider do the talking. Your job is mainly to listen. A conference is designed first and foremost for caregivers to provide parents with information based on observation and daily care. Remain open minded and receptive to information being presented, and don't become defensive about discussions of behavior or areas that need to be worked on. No child is perfect, and remember that your provider would not be bringing it up if she did not feel the information had value. 7. Maintain Poise and Professionalism
Sometimes caregivers have the unpleasant job of discussing not-so-nice behaviors or unacceptable incidents. Refrain from taking it personally, and don't become angry or upset. If you feel there is another reason for your child's behavior or action and you feel the caregiver has not done something correctly, this is the time to speak up and address those concerns. But be sure to do so in a respectful and professional manner. And, be sure to listen to any explanation. 8. Take Notes
Take notes during your conference. Some daycare centers even have a checklist or sheet completed on your child that is left with you following a conference. Notes help you remember the high points and areas of concern, and to help work on those behaviors for improvement. Remember, the conference also serves to talk all about the areas your child is doing right, and you want to reinforcement those achievements. 9. Express & Show Appreciation
Be sure to thank your child's care provider for all she does for your child, not just at conferences, but throughout the year. Appreciation does not have to be in the form of a gift; a thoughtful thank-you note or helping out at a special activity shows how much your care. So, if you like your child's caregiver and the opportunities and nurturing, be sure to show it! And, be sure to express thanks for the conference itself and the open dialogue that is fostered. 10. Set Follow-Ups and Future Feedback
If your child's provider has suggested some activities or corrective courses of actions, be sure to ask her to provide feedback. If sharing is an issue, ask for a report over the coming weeks. If your son is biting, work in partnership with the provider to positively resolve the situation. You can ask for a conference at any time, and establishing this open and ongoing communications tool fosters a stronger relationship all around.
