Your Child vs. Your Child Care Provider: A Match or Clash?

Personalities and Styles Should Be Compatible When Choosing Child Care

You may have the best child care provider (according to everyone you know) or have landed a spot at a coveted daycare, but a highly recommended or top-quality care setting is no assurance that you will be happy. Personality and style (yours, your child's, AND your child's care provider) have to match as well. Once you've carefully researched and reviewed your caregiver's qualifications and determined that her experience, education, and environment are what you want when choosing child care, you need to scrutinize the compatibility factor as well.

Ask yourself these questions before placing your child with any child care provider. Remember that there are no "right" or "wrong" answers to the issues addressed below; the best care arrangement is one that is mutually satisfactory for you, your child, and a caregiver alike. (Note: Many home-based child care providers may also choose children based on compatibility factors to ensure the overall success of their program.)

• What tone or temperament does the child care provider show and how does it match with your expectations?
  Are you looking for a Mary Poppins caregiver who is sweet, supportive and highly empathetic or do you want one who provides a set structure and classroom rules? While a more authoritative caregiver can still be extremely nice, there are different temperaments of child care providers just like there are with children, and you'll want to make sure you have a good match. For example, some parents find that their children misbehave more unless they have firmly-applied rules and a highly-placed bar for behaviors, while others flourish and thrive under a sugar-and-spice caregiver.

-- How Do Kids Learn Empathy?
-- Finding Daycare That Promotes Social, Emotional Skills
-- The Great Daycare Debate
-- Family Needs, Style of Care, Cost Influence Options


• Is the caregiver laid-back and happy-go-lucky or does she show more of a routine-oriented format?
  Some providers print off monthly calendars that contain an hourly schedule so you know what your child will be doing and on which days. Kids learn the structure as well, and may feel comfortable in knowing what will always happen next. Other caregivers have a looser-based structure based on whether the weather is nice for outdoor play or park outings and how children in their care are feeling physically and emotionally.

-- Top 10 Things Providers Want You to Know
-- Kid Play is Beneficial
-- Practical, Comfy Clothes a Must for Active Learning
-- How Kids Learn


• How does the caregiver address behavioral issues and discipline?
  If you are firmly against time-outs, loss of privilege, or any physical contact of your child (such as swatting of their hand), that is perfectly your right as a parent, but don't be overly-surprised if a caregiver tells you "thanks, but no thanks." Because caregivers have several kids in their care, they try and apply rules and consequences consistently and equally, so kids know what to expect. Ask how she handles biting, tantrums, and other behaviors. This is the perfect time to ask about sick policies, late fees, and more.

-- Top Kid Behaviors to Stop Now
-- 6 Discipline Tactics That Work
-- Putting a Stop to Talking Back
-- Your Kid is Fired! When Your Youngster is Let Go from Child Care


• Can your child be transported to activities by a caregiver?
  There's no problem with you not wanting your child to be transported to events outside of the home or daycare. Making decisions that you feel are in the best interest of your child are yours to make! However, if the home-based care setting takes weekly trips to the library for story hour or regularly drives to the park, and you don't want your child leaving the home, you need to realize up front that the arrangement won't work. Daycares may have an option where certain kids can stay behind on field trip outings, but your toddler or preschooler may feel isolated or singled out, so be careful of that as well.

-- Should You Let Your Caregiver Transport Your Kids?
-- Keeping Kids Safe Around Cars


• Will you support your caregiver's decisions?
  Don't be one of those parents who becomes argumentative or defensive, or perhaps even pulls your child from a particular daycare, whenever your child misbehaves. You're doing your child no good. Even if you don't particularly agree with something, the best rule of thumb is to always support your child's caregiver publicly and then address concerns privately (away from your child's presence). Of course, if you feel you have a legitimate concern about your child's safety or well-being, you should react swiftly. But, in cases of bullying, aggression, not participating, etc., remember that your child care provider owes it to all parents to discuss the matter with the child's parents and seek resolution. Keep in mind too that caregivers typically dread conversations about kid behaviors (unless they are ones to be commended) as much as you do!

-- Teaching Kids the Meaning Behind Saying Sorry
-- Putting an End to Biting!

(More caregiver personality and style tips to consider when choosing child care continue on the next page!)